getting personal.

I'm not entirely sure where to start for this post, so I'm just going to dive right in. 

My sister had a few seizures last week and as a result, they discovered what the doctors are referring to as a "mass" on her right frontal lobe. I flew out to Huntsville today to be with her and my family as she undergoes a biopsy and surgery to remove the mass. Strangely enough, this isn't the first time we've gone through this together. The first time was 17 years ago and it was my dad who had the tumor. I won't go into details about it, but the experience rocked me to my core and changed our family in a way I never could have predicted or would wish upon anyone.

Thankfully, this time is different. My sister is being incredibly strong and positive and she sees every detail of the way things have unfolded as a blessing…and it has been. From the fact that my mom was on the phone with her while she had her first seizure to the convenience of the timing with me being able to take off work without hassle to fly out here, everything has happened in the "best" possible way it could.

My biggest struggle so far has been staying in the present and not letting myself go down the path of reliving the emotions and fearing the same outcomes from 17 years ago. In the week leading up to traveling out here, I surrounded myself with friends every night and kept myself busy with work and socializing to keep my mind from wandering too much.

Now that I'm here, I'm dealing with it in the best way I know how…by documenting it. My sister is so amazing that she gave me permission to take photos of the experience. It's definitely helping me focus my energy on something that can distract me from the realities of the situation while still letting me be present for her and the rest of my family. I'm so proud of her strength and openness and can't wait to see her get through this with flying colors.

fin.

"The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn’t even think to ask."

- 180 Degrees South

I think it's often pretty easy to go overboard with our description of things. We throw words like "awesome" and "incredible" around without thinking twice that what we're doing is undermining the meaning of those words. 

That being said, my trip up the coast was life-changing.

I do not say that lightly or flippantly. It truly was the journey of a lifetime. It would have been impossible for me to convey the emotions I experienced through a few simple blog posts, so I didn't even try. I let the photos speak for themselves and kept the text limited to facts about where I was at that point on the trip.

I never imagined what an impact simply driving up the coast would have on my life, but it has, and I have already witnessed the change within myself as a result. I have never put my life on hold in waiting for someone to live it with, but now more than ever, I know I can do anything and go anywhere on my own.

I'd experimented on and off with the video function on my dslr during the trip, but nothing I'd gotten up to this point was really worth posting. I've thought a lot about whether I wanted to post this or not. It's just such a rare occurrence to be able to and have the ability to capture what might otherwise be one of the most private special moments I've ever had. Sharing it is my way of trying to convey even an ounce of the feelings behind those last moments at the end of my life-changing journey.

As I poked around on the beach the last morning of my trip, I came across a row of cairns built on a large log right by the water. I'd learned on my trip that these little piles of rocks represented wishes, which somehow made them seem a little magical to me. I couldn't resist adding one of my own to the row as I took a few minutes to reflect on the last few months and all that had happened along my trip. 

I'm a different person because of this trip and it truly was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that shaped me more than I ever could have expected.

Thanks again for following along and being a part of it with me.

10.18.13 : ruby beach.

The last day of my trip was a bittersweet one to say the least. It's impossible for me to adequately put into words the emotional changes I went through over the course of the time it took me to make my way from San Diego up to Vancouver. In between the legs of my journey, I left San Diego for good, saying goodbye to the almost four years of friendships and memories I'd made there. I can't think of a better way to have ended it than with the trip I unexpectedly embarked on up the coast.

Every day behind the wheel helped to grow my confidence in myself and being alone on such an ambitiously unplanned journey. For every moment of loneliness I felt, I had at least twenty more moments of intense happiness and gratefulness at my surroundings and the ability to be witness to the ever-changing scenery around me.

I've got one more special blog post coming from my last moments on the beach. For now, here are the last photos from my journey up the coast.