on the road to recovery.

Alicia: "Hey Chelsea, your sweatshirt is in."

Me: "Ok."

Alicia: "Maybe you can just embroider it yourself."

Me: "Ha, yeah, sure, I'll just teach myself."

Alicia: "Well it's not like it's brain surgery or anything."

If you're wondering how Alicia is doing, the previous conversation is a good example. Surgery slowed her down, but it didn't take away her sense of humor.

Today has been a long but good day. She was moved to a regular room around 10am this morning, which means we have the freedom to come and go as we please (I haven't utilized that "go" option yet). We're asking that anyone other than family still refrain from visiting until Sean decides she's ready. She is in and out of sleep and tires quickly.

We've had nurses, administrators, social workers and physical therapists in throughout the day to check on her progress. Though her left side is noticeably weaker and less coordinated (she's naturally right-handed as it is), she's doing really well and has even gone on three walks down the hall today. Tasks such as eating and brushing teeth are mandated to the left side to force her to work on retraining those motor skills.

I'm honestly more emotional today than I was yesterday. Waiting through surgery was a beast, but watching my sister have to work at things that most of us consider simple tasks has given me a permanent lump in my throat. It's her strength, grace and positive outlook that has kept me together while watching her work so hard  to improve as the day has worn on. I can't even begin to express how proud I am of her as I watch her from the corner and listen to her jokes.

We're still waiting on the biopsy results, but we know they successfully removed 95-98% of the tumor and that it's a low grade tumor.

As I sit here, she's working with Sean to feed herself. He's draped a towel across her so she doesn't have worry about crumbs or spills. To that, she replied, "Hashtag O-O-T-D (outfit of the day): chicken and dumplings!" Seriously, it's so refreshing to hear and see her making light of the situation.

(And now he's making her hold out her hands and turn them over from one side to the other…to which she replied, "Heyyyyyy Macarena!")

night in the NICU.

We weren't sure if I was going to be able to see Alicia tonight. They're incredibly strict about allowing visitors into the NICU (Neuro Intensive Care/Stroke Unit) and usually limit it to only two people who can go in one at a time during a 1/2 hour time period in the evening. Alicia's husband Sean and my mom were the obvious top two on the list, so I waited anxiously outside in the hallway to hear how she was doing. Luckily, the nurse on duty had a soft spot in his heart and when my mom inquired about the possibility of me sneaking in, he asked my name and then personally came out to escort me in.

As soon as I walked in, my sister had me go to her left side and hold her hand. She immediately clamped her hand around mine with a grip of steel to show me how she'd retained her strength (loss of strength on her left side was a possible side effect we were warned about). She then flashed me a giant smile to show how symmetrical it was. I moved down to her feet and she pressed and lifted them against my hands, showing how her strength was the same on both sides. Then, with a well-deserved air of triumph, she flashed another smile (this time more genuine and less of a display of symmetry) and proclaimed, "I had a tumor on my brain and now it's gone!"

And it is. Most of it. The surgeon was able to remove almost all of the tumor and the even better news is that it was a brain tumor, not a tumor metastasized from another part of her body (meaning she doesn't have cancer that spread to her brain…it's ONLY a tumor in her brain). However, we don't have the pathology results on the tumor yet and probably won't for a few days.

Those few minutes with my sister were more than enough to show me that she's doing fine and will continue to be fine. In fact, I have a feeling she'll come out of this ordeal even stronger than she was before.

Sean is staying the night in the NICU with her and we plan to be there for the visitation hours starting at 10:30am tomorrow. We're hoping she does so well that they move her to a regular room tomorrow, which will allow for non-family visitors to spend some time with Alicia.

Phones of any kind are strictly prohibited in the NICU, but I've documented far too much to quit now, so I snuck some stealth photos when the coast was clear.

this is how i deal.

I couldn't sleep a wink last night, which turned out to be just fine. My nephew woke up around midnight having had a nightmare and I managed to get to him before he woke my sister or brother in law. As I hugged him tight and cuddled him back to sleep in the darkness I couldn't have felt more in tune with how he was feeling at that moment.

I passed some of the time editing photos and writing last night's post, yet I still found myself fighting for sleep around 2:45am when I heard my sister's door open and saw her attempt to creep past me on the couch. After alerting her to my consciousness, she came over and sat down with me. We talked for a while and then listened to an Acappella song called Peace Be Still that has helped calm her in the past. I'm so grateful for that one on one time with her in the darkness last night.

This morning was a blur as we rushed out to the hospital at 6:45am. My mom and step dad attended to my nephew this morning so we could go to the hospital first. They admitted her and she was taken to get her MRI before being prepped for surgery. Sean (her husband) was able to stay with her this whole time while I waited and met with the incredible outpouring of support from visitors showing up to wait with us. By the time she was being prepped for surgery, my mom had arrived and Sean came to get us to wait with Alicia for the surgeon to arrive. After quite some delay, we were shuffled out around 10:30am and she was taken to the OR.

We're currently waiting on news. Their plan was to do a biopsy first and send that off, then continue to remove the remaining tumor. It's been an emotional morning, but I'm so proud to have witnessed nothing but strength and joy in my sister as she waited for the surgery to get underway. I don't think I heard anything but lighthearted jokes come out of her this morning.

The outpouring of love from everyone has been nothing short of incredible. We've had visitors waiting with us from the moment we came through the doors of the hospital this morning. We've also been showered with donuts, chicken biscuits, coffee and hugs while we wait. Shortly after they took my sister to surgery, the 20 or so visitors formed a huge circle in the middle of the waiting room to pray with us. If that's not proof of God's shelter during the storm, I don't know what is.

I've been personally updating Alicia's Facebook page and will continue to do so until she is recovered enough to handle it on her own. Please keep all the positive comments coming. I know she will be overcome with joy when she sees your incredible support and response today.

I'm currently nestled into a corner of the waiting room editing photos and listening to music. It's how I'm dealing. We're going on three hours waiting now, but just got word that the surgeon will be out to give us news in about 15 minutes.

(Unfortunately, I wasn't able to sneak my DSLR into the surgery prep room with my sister, so I had to settle for iPhone photos, but I know you will all understand.)